Hello Anger, My New Friend

I have never been an angry person. Not because of any sort of mature, noble work on my part. It’s just not one of my emotions of choice.

I tend to feel the blue ones: sadness, disappointment, shame.

The red family of emotions are very new to me on this infertility journey. Red emotions like rage, anger, irritation, judgment.

I find myself reflecting on why anger has been foreign to me.

It’s not like I haven’t had things to feel mad about. I grew up in an alcoholic/addict home (Dad). I’ve suffered eating disorders, being cut from the high school volleyball team (lol), and have faced a mountain of student debt.

That stuff should have made me at least a touch of anger. But mostly I just worked harder.

I realize now that maybe I’ve never needed to rely on anger. If I faced a…